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  4. i dreamt that my mom tried to get me to join her and her boyfriend’s shitty indie family band, which only performed at the top of a very tall tree. we lived in an apartment on top of the tree for a while. there was a stargate nearby

     


  5. i utterly botch my presentation for a new villain character who burgles bagles, named the bagler. the western bagel board of directors boo and hiss as they tear chunks out of their bagels and pelt my sorry body with them
     

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  7. someone on soundcloud called my music “perfect to play online pool to.” they said they always play online pool to my music
     

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  9. riding around with my blunt on my lips
    the sun in my eyes and my gun on my hips
    if nautical nonsense be something you wish
    then drop on the deck and flop like a fish

     


  10. google search “wiccan romance spells”

    google search “wiccan aphrodisiac”

    google search “how to make a girl like u if ur wiccan”
     

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  12. my dad just asked if chicago footwork is like riverdance
     


  13. world renowned tap dancer turned chicago footwork mogul
     

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  15. liking goth boys on facebook was the best decision i ever made